Friday, September 11, 2009

Messy Situation

Enders Game, Ender Wiggen
The Absolutley True Diary of a Part Time Indian, Junior Spirit
Space

It was a bright spring day as Junior walked home from his graduation ceremony at Reardon High outside the reservation that he swore he would never return to.
Twenty years later we find junior off the reservation and on the planet of Eros working on starships for the international military forces. As he got up and started to go for lunch he ran into a small kid that was admiring the works of the ship, as a PhD in Electrical engineering does not get rid of clumsiness. As he did and the child fell to the ground, he quickly realized who he was. The kid who he had put to the ground, was non other than the great Ender Wiggin, the great IMF commander who had destroyed the bugger fleet when he was only 13. Junior quickly helped him up and pleaded for forgiveness yet all Ender did was brush off and ask about the ship. Surprised Junior stared to talk about the workings of the ship and suddenly they found themselves behind the controls of the massive IMF starship.

Then suddenly the ship jerked and started to lift. Junior realized that Ender had done it. Junior being upfront as he always had been shouted some very crude words because Ender was still young and had never flown a real ship before. Ender knew this was true although he had gone through so many simulations that he trusted himself greatly. Just then Ender hit a few buttons and off into the infinite space they traveled. By then junior had calmed down after seeing the grace and intelligence of the boy as he flew the colossal beast. As they soared junior and Ender talked of the Bugger Wars and Enders Victory, when a couple of lights were set into motion and alarms started to sound. Junior rose and was yelling, and pointing to what Ender should be doing, when he noticed that Ender knew exactly what to do and was so peaceful about it. So he stepped back and let him take care of it.

They landed on a plant far away from Eros and afraid to step out of the ship because of stories of creatures on other lands, they stayed in the ship talked about what to do. Although I don’t think what Junior was doing was considered talking. They decided that Junior would inspect the ship and try to fix whatever the problem was. Ender would search the ship for supplies to exit the ship and find help. So they went off and as Ender searched, he found a couple of galactic suits and some weapons. So he ran to Junior who was not getting anywhere with the problem and they discussed it and decided to leave the ship. So they suited up, grabbed weapons and food, and exited the ship.

The land was similar to Earth yet they had not seen any life. As they grew farther and farther away from the ship, the woods also grew thicker until the could not see 5 feet in front of them. Then Ender tripped on something and was pulled into the ground where he disappeared. Since Junior had nothing to lose and everything to gain from saving a heroes life, he stepped forward where he also tripped and was sent into the ground. When they woke up they were sweating from the extreme heat that had befallen them. They were in some sort of cave that had strange drawings, almost of the uneducated doings similar to caveman on Earth. As they spoke of there predicament they heard faint yet swift footsteps growing closer to them and as it approached there stomachs grew uneasy and ill. And that, my friends, is another story.

2 comments:

  1. I thought this was agood story. it really mde me think about the other planets in space and stuff. The story was intriguing and interesting.

    I don't think the conversation was beleiveable because i don't think there really was a conversation. It was just like someone else telling the story.

    "Then Ender tripped on something and was pulled into the ground where he disappeared. Since Junior had nothing to lose and everything to gain from saving a heroes life, he stepped forward where he also tripped and was sent into the ground." This was my favorite part because it made me think about like vines coming out of the ground and grabbing them so that was pretty cool.

    one thing that i found problematic was the part in the story where Ender goes off and just finds battle suits and armor. That part didn't make sense. Also there were a couple of typing mistakes. But besides from that it was good.

    one peice of advice i could offer is to probably add dialogue between the charecters because you need it. But it was a good story and i enjoyed it.

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  2. I thought that this was and ok story. I didn't read either of these books so i didn't know where Eros was. What I could picture was Edner and Junior flying through space. What this story makes me think about is all of the science fiction movies in space i've watched. Heros coming to planets and getting attacked by creatures.

    Like Alec said there wasn't a lot of dialouge in the story. It was more like someone was watching these events take place and telling us about it. But when they did say things to eachother it sounded pretty realistic conversations.

    "As they spoke of there predicament they heard faint yet swift footsteps growing closer to them and as it approached there stomachs grew uneasy and ill. And that, my friends, is another story." That was my favorite and least favorite part of the story, because it left a mysterious ending to the story. Also i hated it because it left the story at a cliff hanger.

    One thing that was a problem for me was i didn't understand why Edner was so important and amazing. Also i didn't like that the story ended so unexpectedly. I think you should have finished the story with non-questioning ending.

    Overall, it was an ok story there were somethings i didn't like. Somethings I did like. Also there was some grammar and spelling mistakes. NICE WORK

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